i am (never) a victim: charles xavier and self-blame

[Notes — Content warnings: in-depth discussion of emotional/physical child abuse, domestic violence, childhood trauma; illustrations of physical abuse. Endless thanks to Kari and Charles for beta-reading.]

As a Charles Xavier obsessive, I’m hard-pressed to find analyses of his 616 self that see him as a person rather than a politic — either inside or outside of the text. Charles, while a central part of the X-Men mythos, often takes a narrative backseat to his charges. When it comes to Charles, comics fandom is often more interested in either (rightfully) maligning his milquetoast neoliberal philosophies or, on a less fun note, perpetuating “creepy disabled man” stereotypes. It’s difficult to find people who are interested in seeing him as the messy, complex character he is, and the high barrier of entry to comics makes it difficult for those who are already doing that work on the film series side of things to transfer over.

So, of course, you can probably infer that I was very pleased with Kieron Gillen’s Immortal X-Men #10.

Some have questioned whether the issue is truly written from the (real) Charles’ perspective – he is dead at the beginning of the issue and is resurrected Sinister-fied at the end. However, his narration also references potential catastrophes that are shown in the visuals to have clearly become inevitable. I believe the monologue is purposefully vague with regard to “whose” mind it is taking place in and when. This is Charles speaking to us beyond the narrative, and beyond anything that Sinister could inject into his bloodstream. We’re supposed to take it as what it is – a soliloquy. An aside, outside the linear progression of time and space.

Honestly? Immortal X-Men #10 is some of the best canon work on Charles since X-Men: Legacy (2008). It identifies so many of the complexities and quirks that make Charles Charles, and does it all entrenched in his trademark warped self-perspective. It is not written so we can understand Charles per se, but so we can understand how he understands himself.

But I’m insane so I’m going to reverse-engineer that and explore how Charles’ self-narrative reveals his inner reality and past. Because it’s just so good you can actually do that.

Despite – quite characteristically, as we’ll see – quickly skipping over it in his IXM monologue, so much of Charles’ entire life is framed by early childhood trauma and its interaction with his mutation. This is central to the bombshell lines of the issue – “I am never a victim […] I am a martyr.”

Charles’ claim that he is never victimized is an expression of his inability to allow himself victimhood. That inability is informed by the rationalization of trauma specific to his background and to his experience as a mutant.

The Trauma of Telepathy

I’ve spent a long time complaining about how readers and writers engage with X-Men telepaths, and there’s no way I can get into it all here. That’s a whole other essay, maybe essays. But understanding the “reality” of X-Men telepaths is crucial to understanding Charles Xavier in any way.

X-Men characters are often given license to complain about telepaths and telepathy without being branded as bigoted. “Stay out of my head” is a mantra spanning decades of X-Men comics, films, and television shows. The narrative rarely sees this for what it is — mutantphobia (yes, even when it’s coming from other mutants).

Non-telepathic mutants, hung up on their discomfort with the idea that their thoughts are not secret, make no attempt to understand that telepathy cannot be “turned off” any more than their mutation can, or that telepaths will hear their thoughts in some capacity whether they want to or not.

Telepathy is often framed as an inherently malicious violation of consent that can only be mitigated by strict self-policing. This is inconsistent with the liberatory messages X-Men stories try to communicate through the “mutant metaphor” (and, in-universe, is inconsistent with the pro-mutant/anti-mutantphobia politics of the characters).

Many readers have already noted a similar discrepancy between human-passing mutants and non-humanpassing mutants. Jean Grey does not have an identical experience to Nightcrawler — she is not immediately identified as a mutant when she walks into a room. Yet, telepathic mutants and non-humanpassing mutants are two peas in a pod when it comes to facing marginalization from both their own kind and their oppressors.

The treatment of telepathic mutants is informed by mutantphobic fears, ripped directly from the claim that mutants are inherently malicious and interested in world subjugation. This is supported by the text(s) — the “circus freak” and the “mind controller” are the two most common boogeymen conjured up by mutantphobes in X-Men stories.

With regards to the mutant metaphor, nothing in real life can be a true equivalent of telepathy, but strong parallels can be drawn between telepaths and disabled people — from the neurological disorder-like symptoms (overstimulation, fainting, seizures, headaches, visions, etcetera) to the societal belief that your existence “inconveniences” the public.

Telepaths aren’t included in “mutant and proud”. Embrace your powers — but not like that. Make yourself small, clamp your telepathy — your very experience of reality — in a vice. You must make others feel comfortable because they are all scared of you deep down.

In comparison to invasive telepathic behavior (read: often just simply existing as a telepath), there is little focus put on the traumatizing, isolating, and often physically/mentally painful telepathic experience. Telepaths must learn to shield their own minds because an inability to muffle thoughts is both painful and dangerous. Those that manifest young have to take in the mental ruminations of their entire world and process them with an undeveloped mind. A telepathic child can learn that people lie, cheat, and steal before they’ve even learned to write. In what ways does this affect the critical periods of infant and child development? Attachment theory? The transitional experience? We need a full federal investigation —

Suffice it to say: the experience of being a telepathic child is one that must irrevocably change one’s brain chemistry, akin to a neurological/neurodevelopmental disorder.

Most mutants have the issue of “I’m the first/second of my kind I know”, but telepathy is uniquely difficult. It doubles as a neurodivergence and requires massive control, knowledge, and self-possession just to avoid insanity, not to mention avoiding hurting others.

It is also worth considering that the bulk of telepathic X-Men characters that we know are of one of three experiences:

A) They come from abusive households and/or suffered intense lifelong trauma, all while having to figure out this telepathy on their own

B) They were guided through their telepathy education by those aforementioned traumatized DIY telepaths

C) both A + B

Childhood trauma is just par for the course with telepaths, and so is having little to no framework for how to cope with it. Jean was immensely lucky to end up under the tutelage of a telepath at a young age (much less one with similar potential to her own) — and even she had her own life-changing, nearly fatal childhood telepathy trauma.

Emma manifested much later in her youth than Charles or Jean, but still experienced her telepathy through the lens of trauma. No wonder her particular telepathic method emphasizes trickery and control — no wonder she never lets herself be vulnerable. Jean, similar to her mentor Charles, views her telepathy with a sense of responsibility, but one that is not as pathological as his, as her personal trauma is quite different.

All-New X-Men (2013)’s time-displaced Jean (Teen Jean) is a stellar companion to analysis of Charles’ behavior. Like Charles, she had to figure it out as she went along (though he didn’t have the specter of a genocidal future self hanging over him, or an — albeit shaky — support system). He “learned” through a trial of error that destroyed his relationships and others’ mental stabilities in the process. Without other telepaths and her loved ones keeping her in check, that very well could have been Teen Jean’s experience.

All New X-Men Issue #10, pages 6, 7, and 10 [click to enlarge]

This scene in ANXM #11 — where Teen Jean tries to telepathically force Teen Angel to stay at Xavier’s, and the Stepford Cuckoos telepathically subdue her in retaliation — has stayed with me for years. “She needs to learn,” Emma says, clearly referring to a (rarely mentioned by the text) form of education and code of conduct that has been passed from telepath to telepath. Emma, of course, has her own underlying motivations to punish Jean — wanting Angel to join up to her side, lingering antipathy towards Jean. But her choice of language makes it clear that this is about more than lines in the sand or romantic quarrels – it’s about telepathy.

The decision not to control others (which we’ll get into more later) can be one of both ethics and self-preservation. Emma knows that trying to telepathically control loved ones only ends in misery and broken ties. The control can’t be maintained forever, and it is very likely that outside influences or post-traumatic mental defragmentation will reveal the manipulation to the victim.

The evidence of this is all over Charles’ life (the irony of Erik’s “young lady” comment in the above pages is not lost on me), and it is all over his abusive behavior detailed in Deadly Genesis. A scene very similar to Teen Jean’s scene takes place in Uncanny X-Men #309 (1963), wherein Charles attempts to stop Amelia Voght from leaving him.

Uncanny X-Men #309 (1963)

This “lesson” coming from Emma of all people may seem strange at first glance – she is well-versed in telepathic manipulation, after all. But for one, by ANXM she is in her “hero” era — and for another, she is a Hellfire Club graduate. From her time under Shaw’s reign, she knows how telepathy can be used to deeply violate others, up to and including supposed loved ones and romantic/sexual partners. Not only does she not want this to happen to Angel, but she also doesn’t want Jean, on her way to becoming the most powerful telepath in the universe, to go down that route. “She needs to feel what it feels like to have someone digging in your head that doesn’t belong there.”

When you’re a telepath, the stupid, emotional mistakes that all teenagers make can ruin lives. Teen Jean lost Charles’ mentorship and the mental blocks he had put in place entirely. Emma’s forceful approach here is a makeshift replacement for a portion of the learning (and the inevitable pain) a telepath must go through.

Suffice it to say — this is all extremely overwhelming to experience at any age. But it is especially so when you’re like, eight like Charles was.

Speaking of:

An Ontology of Charles Xavier’s Childhood

I think including a comprehensive retelling of Charles’ childhood is crucial, not just because it’s the bedrock of everything I’m aiming to discuss, but also because: details on it are surprisingly scarce and scattered outside of its first discussion, are not widely discussed by fans, and therefore are not necessarily common knowledge. (This is also an invitation to share any Charles Xavier Childhood Moments I may have missed here).

(Footnote: we’re not talking about Cassandra Nova because she was living off human waste during all of this and I wish she’d gotten eaten by a sewer alligator.)

Charles’ backstory is revealed in the early issues of Uncanny X-Men (#12 – #13), through heavy-handed but very Silver Age flashback exposition. The Juggernaut – his stepbrother Cain Marko – is on his way to the mansion to kill him, and while he prepares a very analog Cerebro, he basically trauma-dumps to his students about his and Cain’s childhood.

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #12

The X-Men routinely face extremely dangerous adversaries, but throughout the Silver Age Charles rarely displays fear in the face of them, instead opting for urgency. Yet multiple times throughout the issue, Jean remarks that she has never seen Charles so fearful before. It’s clear to Jean — and is made clear to the reader — that this adversary is different from all others. Charles is scared, and this distress is about more than the destructive capability of Cain’s Cyttorak abilities.

More about Charles’ childhood is fleshed out in ‘80s and ‘90s X-Men comics. The Black Womb Project is introduced in X-Men (1991) #12, stirring Charles’ repressed childhood memories of experiments he and another boy, Carter Ryking, were subjected to in their youth. In the previously mentioned Uncanny X-Men #309, Charles has a dream where he is in a therapy session led by the then-dead Magneto, who is clearly inspired by influential psychoanalyst Sickmind Fraud Sigmund Freud. Charles discusses his childhood at length with Sigmund Lehnsherr, signifying its continued importance to his adult mental state. This recount does not include The Black Womb Project however, and the storyline disappeared into the ether for over a decade until it was revisited in 2000s comics, particularly X-Men: Forever (2001) and X-Men: Legacy (2009). Additional details about Charles’ childhood are peppered throughout New Mutants (1983) #25 and Professor Xavier and The X-Men (1995) #12. The following takes from all these sources (and then some) and seeks to create a cohesive image of Charles’ childhood as the text describes.

Brian and Sharon Xavier — both wealthy — marry, and Sharon gives birth to Charles. Brian was a scientist associated with the Manhattan Project, and Charles initially theorized that he may have been born a mutant due to his father’s proximity to nuclear materials. Charles knew Brian worked on confidential government projects in Alamagordo, but did not know the details until much later in life. This project was Project Black Womb, which studied and experimented on thousands of mutant children, most of whom were held in holding tanks. Brian worked alongside Kurt Marko, Dr. Nathan Milbury (Mister Sinister in a human-passing disguise), Amanda Mueller, Irene Adler, and Dr. Alexander Ryking.

X-Men: Legacy (2008), X-Men: Forever (2001)

Charles was studied alongside Dr. Ryking’s son Carter, who also displayed signs of mutation. Sharon disapproved of this, but Brian was dedicated to the project and suggested that Charles may not even remember the experimentation. The details of the early experimentation on Charles aren’t shown, beyond being injected with unknown materials. However, Carter, who stayed at the facility his entire life, was under constant sedation and study, suffering severe mental trauma. It’s implied that the experimentation was emotionally and physically traumatic.

X-Men Legacy (2008), X-Men (1991)

Carter and Charles were friends, often playing together at the facility. Charles doesn’t mention this in his initial flashback (though this story does begin after his father’s death), or at all for many years. When sent a letter from Carter containing documents from the project, he is unable to believe that his father would be involved in such a thing. However, in interactions with Carter, he has brief flashbacks to them playing together, suggesting that Charles had suppressed or forgotten those memories (probably both). He’s still unable to uncover these memories years later and seeks Carter’s assistance, who telepathically shares his memories of that time period.

X-Men (1991)

Charles, in his adulthood, seems to have conflicted emotions about these revelations. It tars his memory of his dead father, but he already had conflicted emotions about Brian. He barely spares a moment to discuss Brian during the initial backstory flashback, and describes him in X-Men: Legacy (2008) as someone who “ignored” him. Kurt isn’t re-examined at all — most likely because Charles already understood him as someone who personally abused him. Of all of it, he feels most about Carter, trying to help him during their initial reunion, and holding friendly conversation with him in their second, regardless of Carter’s compulsive stereotypy and disordered speech patterns. He also has strong emotions about Sinister, feeling violated by his meddling with his body and mind.

Brian dies during a nuclear accident, and it is later implied that Kurt was either behind the accident or had a chance to save him and decided to let him die. We can assume Charles stopped spending time at the facility then, especially since he is shown spending the majority of his time at the family mansion in Westchester.

Uncanny X-Men (1963)

Kurt Marko weasels his way into Sharon’s good graces, and coerces her into marrying him, using Charles’ fatherlessness as a tool. Charles’ latent telepathy notes Kurt’s deception and manipulation from the start, and he deduces that Kurt is just after Sharon’s money. It’s unclear how aware Charles was of his own power or how strong he was at that time. As a child, he seems to know he has more than regular intuition and can sense emotions and simple thoughts, but he isn’t very skilled at probing minds (evidenced by him not knowing about Black Womb). He doesn’t understand what Kurt is talking about when he references Charles’ “power” while dying — perhaps signifying that Charles’ telepathy was so much a part of him that he didn’t realize he had it (a theory that’s supported by his childhood experiences feeling other’s thoughts).

Uncanny X-Men (1963) (#309 and #12)

The marriage quickly goes sour. Kurt uses Sharon’s money to build a lab in the mansion and spends all of his time there working on his experiments. He begins beating Sharon, who turns to alcohol to cope. Kurt moves in his son from a previous marriage, Cain, who he also beats. Cain physically and emotionally bullies Charles.

X-Men: Legacy (2008)

It is not explicitly said, but it is heavily implied through physical aggression and the language Charles uses to describe their relationship, that Kurt was beating Charles as well. Kurt “favoring” Charles is occasionally brought up, but it’s important to note that abusive parents often “favor” one child over the other and still abuse both children, albeit sometimes in different ways. This is exemplified in the text by Kurt sacrificing his life to save Cain and Charles from a deadly fire, despite being ready to assault Cain moments earlier. Kurt’s favoritism is also explicitly framed as an extension of his interest in Charles as a scientific subject — he literally used his last breaths to tell Charles about it.

Further — all the stories we hear about Charles’ childhood are told through his lens. Knowing his penchant for secrecy and emotional repression, it’s very likely he omits intimate details of his own experience in these retellings. It is only in a dream or a private telepathic conversation that Charles mentions his experience sharing Sharon or Cain’s pain, and it is only in an internal monologue that he uses any explicit language to describe his own relationship with Kurt (see above).

[6/28 Edit:] Sooo typical that I find exactly the kind of confirmation of this I’m looking for just a day after I publish this! See Cain and Charles’ conversation below from Uncanny X-Men #429:

[End edit]

Charles both consciously and unconsciously mind melds with Sharon and Cain and telepathically experiences their pain. Charles involuntarily senses Cain’s emotions while he cries after being badly beaten by Kurt. Charles tries to escape his misery, but only buries himself deeper in Cain’s pained psyche. Cain (somehow) senses this, and resents him from it, seeing it as an invasion of his privacy and mockery of his situation. Charles also finds himself in Sharon’s mind and unconsciously tries to alleviate her emotional pain (to little effect).

Kurt’s lab catches on fire during a fight between himself, Charles, and Cain. He sacrifices himself to save their lives. Sharon later dies “from a broken heart”. Realistically her death was most likely caused by complications of an illness brought on by depression, stress, and alcohol dependency.

Uncanny X-Men (1963)

Charles’ telepathy grows and he begins to lose his hair because he ate without Youtube because of his telepathy. He begins to self-edit as he notes the “unfair” advantages telepathy gives him. He has an immense sense of self-responsibility at such an age — many people older than him would have indulged in their abilities. Cain and Charles are left to their own devices, and a cycle of abuse forms, with Cain becoming increasingly physically aggressive towards Charles (destroying his trophies, attacking him, etc). Charles is able to defend himself by predicting his movements via his telepathy.

Despite the abuse and toxicity, Charles and Cain stay together. Good ol’ trauma bonding! Charles graduates high school and enters higher education. Cain offers to drive Charles to college. Charles accepts (despite this clearly being a no good very bad horrible idea), wanting to win the friendship of a guy who had been beating him up half his life.

Uncanny X-Men (1963)

In a textbook abuse scenario: on the way there, Cain begins driving “like a madman”. When Charles shouts for him to stop, Cain starts driving even crazier, knowing Charles is powerless to stop him as a passenger. Charles sees the oncoming crash first, but prioritizes Cain and uses his telepathy to help Cain jump to safety…while he tumbled down a ditch in the car. Charles only survives by using “mental shields” – which I assume is his latent telekinesis.

Charles resigns himself to the fact that their relationship will always be toxic, and ignores Cain to focus on recovering from his injuries. Cain ultimately moves out, frustrated with the lack of attention. The last time they see each other (before Cain comes to kill him, that is) is when they serve in the same platoon in the Korean War. I mean the Vietnam War. Sliding time scale conundrum.

Cain deserts and Charles runs after him because of course he does. Cain touches that ruby and turns into a Giga-Chad and well, you know the rest.

Up until their separation, Charles repeatedly tried to connect with and protect Cain despite Cain’s abusive behavior (which Cain read as Charles trying to control him). Charles avoids cutting ties with Cain, likely due to the fact that they are the only family he has left, and the fact that Cain is the only other person alive who also experienced the abuse. Charles also feels immense regret over the whole ordeal, even though he and Cain had no control over the situation. Had Charles tried to use his telepathy to control the situation, he probably would’ve ended up like Carter — institutionalized and experimented on for decades.

Sibling abuse commonly occurs in households where parental abuse is also present. Common risk factors for sibling abuse were present in Charles and Cain’s home life – parental abuse, parental favoritism, parental immaturity, and parental death, among others. Sibling abuse is the most common form of family violence but is also the most underreported. It can be difficult to parse from normal sibling rivalry and disagreements, but Cain and Charles’ relationship is clearly abusive (with Cain being the abuser and Charles the abused). Victims of sibling abuse, like other victims, are at high risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses, and are often re-victimized later in life.

Cain and Charles replicate common dysfunctional child dynamics where Charles is the “mature” one and Cain is the “dysfunctional” one. Charles is “favored” by Kurt, and is a star student and athlete. In contrast, Cain is openly despised by Kurt and is caught in a cycle of delinquency and violence.

These dynamics can result in one child taking on a “parental” role – in this instance, Charles. He “grows up too fast”, and takes on a position of responsibility that he cannot drop lest the entire family unit crumble. The emotional complications of telepathic childhood intensify this experience. Charles fills multiple common roles that “parental” children fall into within abusive households, such as:

• Mother’s Confidant: The child who is privy to the mother’s feelings, concerns, and plans. After witnessing abusive incidents, their recollections may serve as a “reality check” for the mother, if the abuser later minimizes or lies about events.
• Perfect Child: The child who tries to prevent violence by actively addressing issues (wrongly) perceived as triggers, by excelling in school and never arguing, rebelling, misbehaving, or seeking help with problems.
• Referee: The child who mediates and tries to keep the peace.

(definitions taken from Little Eyes, Little Ears: How Violence Against A Mother Shapes How Children Grow (2007), a guide on domestic violence published by The Centre for Children & Families in the Justice System. Emphasis mine.)

Charles also takes on undue amounts of responsibility with regards to Sharon and Kurt’s relationship. Children often try to cope with abuse by taking care of and protecting their abused parent or siblings. They may also try to predict or control the behavior of the abusive parent. Charles subconsciously tries to soothe both Sharon and Cain telepathically, and uses his telepathy to predict Cain’s violent outbursts. He is Cain and Kurt’s emotional punching bag, and Sharon’s shoulder to cry on.

However, Charles’ attempts to referee just makes Cain resent him more. He’s always been the “bad son” and now feels he is being bossed around by the brother his father loved more.

Cain is The Scapegoat — “the child identified as the cause of family problems, blamed for tension between parents or whose behaviour is used to justify violence. May have special needs or be a step-child to abuser.” (Little Eyes). (I highlight special needs here because Cain showed clear signs of mental illness.)

Charles and Cain’s caregivers are erratic, absent, and/or violent. And then they are gone altogether. They only have each other left in their family unit. From Little Eyes –

“[…] children who adopt pseudo-adult roles such as the “caretaker” may have difficulty adjusting when expected to assume the role of child once again. The “abuser’s ally” may take up the role of the now-absent abuser.”

Though Cain is the scapegoat, he is also, paradoxically, the abuser’s “ally” (the child who is co-opted to assist in abuse) against Charles specifically. This child may take on the role of the main abuser if the parental abuser is absent, which Cain does. Kurt was able to exert this influence over Cain because Kurt had (presumably) raised him, and was familiar to Cain in a way Charles and Sharon were not.

Charles and Cain become trauma bonded for some time due to the abuse embedded in their relationship. “Trauma bonding” refers to the dysfunctional long-term attachment that forms between an abuse victim and their abuser. It’s often misdefined as the dysfunctional relationship that forms between victims abused by the same abuser (though Charles and Cain also have that kind of attachment, whatever the word for it is!).

Charles displays some obvious signs of trauma bonding: concealing the abuser’s behavior (he rarely discusses his childhood), feeling protective of the abuser (doing as little harm to Cain as possible when defending himself), accepting responsibility for their behavior, hoping that things will improve despite evidence to the contrary, and clinging to positive attention from the abuser (the whole car debacle).

Childhood is the foundation of the psyche. Thus, the experiences of childhood will reverberate through one’s adulthood. Children who take on these caretaker roles often struggle to “act like a child”, and bring those behaviors into their adulthood. The common manifestations of those who were in Charles’ position fit him like a glove. From psychotherapist Imi Lo’s “Toxic Sibling Relationship and Siblings Estrangement” article —

“Having been a peacemaker and mediator all their lives, the Mature One brings an other-focus tendency into their adult relationships. They may disown their dreams and passion because what they want has never mattered, it was always about what they ‘should’ do. They eventually learn to neglect their own needs and desires. They do not feel they have the right to express or even feel ‘forbidden’ emotions such as anger, or sadness. As a result, many Matured One has the tendency to be ‘overcontrolled’, meaning they tend to suppress their emotions and expressions, both positive and negative, and not tell others about what they need. They do not feel they are allowed to let their hair down, relax, have fun, and do something outside of the conventional. They are also likely to overfunction at their work, in their romantic relationships and in their own parenting. Eventually, they are overburdened with responsibilities and may become burned out.”

(No bolds here because honestly, I’d be bolding the whole quote!)

Uncanny X-Men #309

Charles’ self-denial, overfunctioning, and overcontrol is best exemplified in his dream in Uncanny X-Men #309. Despite his attempt to maintain his selfless facade, the image of Jean and Scott projecting his insecurities back at him — “wasting” his life and youth on others so they can enjoy their life and youth – causes him to snap. This mindset often leads to the controlling, condescending behavior Charles subjects his charges to. The endless emotional and physical labor he forces himself to expend on others breeds resentment within him.

While Charles clearly has political reasons behind his life’s work, his construction of the X-Men and placement of himself in a patriarch position is also his way of filling the emotional void inside himself the only way he knows how. He ensures that other people need him through a dogged devotion to his students and The Dream, even as his inner life deteriorates.

From “The Savior Complex” by writer Anastasia Summersault:

“You are not a person — you are a function. You serve the needs of others in your family, be it your spouse, your children, or your parents. In your life, the others are a source of meaning, because you exist to serve them, even though it makes you miserable. Your life is defined by the mantra: “For me to feel good, my loved one must feel good.”

So far, for clarity, I’ve talked about Charles’ past without delving deep into his telepathy’s role in it. Charles’ trauma is foundational to his savior complex, but the importance of his telepathy in that regard cannot be understated. Telepathy only amplifies and reinforces these maladaptive behaviors and beliefs. Maladaptive behaviors and beliefs are made “logical” and “true” with a false surety only telepathy is capable of creating.

When Bad Things Happen, They Happen Because Of You

The title of this section quotes Captain America: Civil War (2016) —

“When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then bad things happen, they happen because of you.”

— because it so succinctly describes the thought patterns of a traumatized telepath. A deeply skewed form of “with great power comes great responsibility”. It’s not by chance that Charles took on his parental child role specifically. Charles knew — whether he recognized it as telepathy or not — that Kurt Marko had ill intentions. As a child, Charles couldn’t do anything about the events happening around him. He wasn’t strong enough to control them on a “is a literal child” level, and he also wasn’t strong enough to control them on a telepathic prowess level. But the knowledge still impacts him – to know what is happening around him, on a level much deeper than anyone else involved, and simultaneously fail to stop it.

Charles admits to continuing to blame himself for the abuse and Sharon’s demise during the dream he has in Uncanny X-Men #309. Though Erik-Freud (possibly a manifestation of his own subconscious) reminds him of the reality — he was a child, it was not his responsibility to stop the abuse, a parent’s responsibility is to protect the child, not the other way around — Charles isn’t dissuaded. [6/28 Edit:] He — and Cain — also express the belief that his inaction allowed the abuse to continue in Uncanny X-Men #429. See below. [End Edit]

Uncanny X-Men #309, Uncanny X-Men #429

This must be a deeply held belief for Charles to still validate it as an older man. Growing into a powerful telepath could have only contributed to the skewing of his perception of the past. He lives a reality where he is able to achieve massive feats — so why couldn’t he save his mother then? Charles doesn’t focus on the fact that it would have nigh impossible for him to fix the situation as a child telepath. Even forces that were beyond his knowledge for some time (The Black Womb Project) would have aborted that mission if he somehow managed it.

Involuntarily feeling the pain of those around him from a young age gave Charles an intensely personal understanding of others’ suffering. His telepathy is informed, contextualized, and defined by powerlessly surveilling and sharing pain, and by his parental child role. In the current day, he can exert control, so he must. He will quit sports, he will let Cain rage at him, he will risk his own life for others, he will give up his entire life to a cause — just to save others from pain (and by extension, save himself from witnessing it). His telepathy is not about him, but about everyone else.

When Charles sees pain, he does what he can to “fix” it. He “fixes” things in ways that he never could when he was a child. He spares – or “spares” – people pain, even at his own expense. He does this not only because he feels a responsibility and a compulsion to, but because being forced to feel your battered mother’s anguish as a child will make you quite afraid of witnessing pain and powerlessness.

(This is not an XMCU essay buuuuut X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) is quite right in its assessment that Charles is afraid of pain, and that telepathy can be inherently painful.)

Charles believes he has a responsibility to fix the world. This is an impossible task. But when you’re the world’s most powerful telepath [citation needed], you have a different view of reality.

To swing back to the earlier telepathy section, this is exactly the “lesson” Emma wants to drill into Teen Jean’s head. You can’t control the world. Charles has said time and time again that he knows this lesson — but does he truly? Does he really believe it? Does he abide by the teachings of that lesson? If he did, why would he tamper with others’ minds so often? And why is “the greater good” so often his excuse?

Telepathy makes you think you know everything. Point-blank. What makes you more knowledgeable about the world than being able to hear others’ thoughts? You know what’s best because you’ve seen the lightest light and darkest dark of the human mind.

Obviously, this isn’t true. Mind-reading is still reading, and how one processes what they have read is unique to them. A telepath is still a person, endlessly influenced by their own experiences and perceptions and impulses. Mind-reading cannot reveal the “true” self of a person, and surely not that of several people. But Charles still thinks about telepathy like a child — like a “caretaker” child — and so it is his responsibility to make bad things stop happening. He doesn’t view his telepathy as a curse in itself — Charles often experiences the downsides of telepathy, but has clearly made peace with them — yet it has cursed him with an unending sense of omniscient responsibility.

This even bleeds into the X-Men’s stated purpose. “To protect those that hate and fear us”. Of course Charles would do something like that. He’s felt responsible for the well-being of his abusers his whole life. It begs to question how much of Charles’ philosophy is genuine and how much is infused with his own pathologies.

Which leads us into our final event:

Victimhood, Interrupted

Immortal X-Men #10 follows the aftermath of the murder of multiple Quiet Council members and Mister Sinister’s subsequent capture. Over these events, Charles speaks to the reader through text boxes, musing on his philosophy and inner world. Importantly, this is after Erik’s death during Judgement Day and during Charles’ grieving process (or lack thereof) — so his tone is especially dour.

Let’s take a closer look at this mental breakdown shall we? I won’t be going over every single line here, just those that are relevant to the topic of Charles, trauma, telepathy, and/or victimhood.

Charles starts out getting to the point – he knows what people think of him. Humans and mutants. He is a telepath after all.

“Are you suspicious of me? I hope so. It is one of my ways of protecting everyone. After all, I have done much to be suspicious of. People should be suspicious of me. […] It’s hard to hold onto an ideal when I know what they really think about us. About me.”

Charles reinforces the idea that his telepathy is something to be feared. Again, his telepathy was informed by abuse and trauma from a young age. Throughout his life, he has ruined many of his relationships through telepathic violations. Further, the dark truths telepathy expose him to contradict his idealism. In what ways does he need to change his self-perception to resolve that cognitive dissonance?

“​​I am a father to many. In turn, I had many fathers. They were each, in their own way, terrible. […] Scott and I share Sinister as a meddling foster parent. We never talked about it, which is so like us both. So many terrible fathers. I wished not to become any of them. I succeeded. I became a terrible father in my own way. I try to dream a world where terrible fathers are gone.”

Charles muses on his father(s), and by extension his childhood. He doesn’t get into detail, as per usual, but his mentioning of it at all is enough to let us know that it is relevant. Charles has been trying to achieve a reality where terrible fathers — all the pain he was powerless to end — don’t exist. But at this point in his life, he knows that that endeavor was always futile, and in doing so he has only become a terrible father himself.

“I had a boy, and he nearly destroyed the world with runaway thoughts. Moira’s child was a serial killer who could carve reality with his mind. When Jean Grey lost control, a planet burned. And these are weaknesses of character and fortune, not active planned malice. We are dangerous. They are right to be frightened. You’re starting to understand now. This is the awful truth. When a child comes out to bigoted parents. it destroys lives. When Magneto came out as a mutant, he killed a whole town in his grief. Being a mutant shares traits with other persecuted groups, but it is unlike it in one key way.“

Charles voices what many X-Men fans have debated over the years — the idea that mutants are “actually” dangerous, and therefore mutantphobia is a logical or understandable stance. Many see this as a reason why the mutant metaphor doesn’t “work”. I will get on a proper soap box about this one day, but here’s my take condensed. The mutant metaphor doesn’t need to “work” — as in, be a one-to-one copy of any one marginalization — because, even in reality, every marginalization is unique in its nature (if heavily interconnected with others). Of course mutanthood isn’t the same as being a PoC or being queer. Being a PoC and being queer aren’t even the same!

I propose that actually, mutants are not dangerous. Being “dangerous” is something that is already erroneously ascribed to many marginalized populations. These assessments are made “true” through selective and flawed analysis of reality. Are Black people more violent than white people? Or are Black populations just overrepresented in gang violence demographics due to systemic antiblackness and poverty in urban areas? Are mentally ill people dangerous or is the world we live in inherently traumatizing and aggravating to mental illness, not to mention hugely lacking in accessible care that mitigates aggressive symptoms? Are homeless people dangerous or does the soul/mind/body-crushing experience of homelessness occasionally push them to display aggression toward strangers? Are all of these negative attributes even common, or are they just being made hypervisible by sensationalist news and media portrayals?

Ergo — are mutants actually dangerous, or is there just a huge lack of resources for mutants of all ages to learn to live with their mutations? Are mutants actually dangerous, or are we shown a few sensational cases of mutant destruction because that’s what causes the most issues and necessitates the X-Men’s intervention? (Or, metatextually, because big explosions and fights look good on the page and sell more books?)

Erik would not have killed all those people if they had not murdered Anya. David would not be destructive if he had actually received proper, consistent care for his neurodivergence. And the feats of Charles Xavier and Jean Grey are not comparable to the (thousands? hundreds of thousands? millions?) of mutants on Earth. To quote Moira in A.X.E: Judgement Day #2: “Krakoa has a population of 200,000 mutants whose average gift is analogous to mildly hallucinogenic body odor.”

What does dangerous even mean? We are all dangerous. We all have the capacity to harm. How and why and who and how much we harm is based on several factors that can’t be distilled into “biological differences”.

But enough arguing with Charles (the Magneto kinnie really jumped out, sorry), what does this mean for him? Charles still operates on an understanding of telepathy that is centered on his negative experience and the negative experiences of those who grew up in a similarly mutantphobic world. It is still centered on his inflated sense of responsibility. But is he really so wrong to feel that way?

“If I wanted, I could work through them all, placing a psychic trigger in each. A decade’s work, perhaps? Most minds aren’t difficult. One day, I’d be done. And on that day, the entire human race would have woken up, walked over to the nearest sharp object and opened up their throats. Humanity would have bled out one bloody morning. And that’s if I saw the world as Erik did then.”

Let’s take a moment to just….hold space for all the potential logistical issues there.

Okay. Let’s say he’s right, and continue.

“Every time they act with some foolish, hateful policy, I know that I could have stopped it. I am complicit.”

Shit is crazy because. Again. Are you? The discovery of telepathic manipulation of a human government official could create a global anti-mutant frenzy. Further, the world has foolish, hateful policies in spades. If one doesn’t, another will. Can you catch all of them? Surely, he knows this, but it aligns with his view of the world to pretend otherwise. I’m reminded of newly-resurrected Charles’ lines in Astonishing X-Men (2017) — his almost manic insistence that he can “fix” whatever goes wrong. Never mind the fact that that belief has consistently shown itself to be false, sometimes to disastrous proportions!

Astonishing X-Men #18 (2017)

For Charles though, this isn’t simply run-of-the-mill hubris or megalomania. It’s learned behavior. It’s what he’s built his life off of.

“I have a secret. There will never be a nuclear war. If the Doomsday Clock ever hit midnight, all those warmongers’ hands would hover over the red button…and find themselves incapable of pressing it. If one tried to bypass that, those who are trained to fire the missile would similarly halt in their tracks. There is a psychic block in place. Like I placed the X-Men. I put it there to save the world from ourselves.”

He kinda real for that. Maybe there are upsides to having an insane savior complex! [CITATION NEEDED]

This is a feat! And Charles is no stranger to feats. Make no mistake, I understand that he is quite capable of some of the things he feels he should do (or at least capable of trying!). But whether he should do them, whether he is obligated to do them, whether the guilt and compulsion he feels is logical — that’s another discussion.

“That’s the thing to understand: Mutants have been victims, but I am not. I am never a victim. I choose to let them persecute me, because the alternative would be the death of us all.”

There it is, the money shot! So:

Charles, despite believing that mutants are dangerous, obviously knows that they’re marginalized. But…he’s not. Because he’s simply too powerful to be.

Sure.

He can’t be an abused child because he’s telepathic, he could have done something. He can’t be marginalized because he’s telepathic, he could have done something.

Are we expected to believe that he chose to get (glances at long list) knifed and bled out in an alleyway? Or sniped through the helmet, at the very beginning of the Krakoan project, when no one was sure if anyone besides him could handle the backup transfer process? Any other long list of Insane Charles Xavier Severe Injury/Death Moments? And that all didn’t happen because he’s marginalized? Charles Xavier is literally a prime example of the fact that anyone can get jumped.

It’s internalized victim-blaming and it’s unfortunately incredibly common for marginalized people and abuse victims (and those like Charles who hold both experiences). Men abused by women are often asked why they didn’t fight back because of men’s presumed physical advantage over women. Abuse victims are criticized for repeatedly returning to their abusers, ignoring the fact that it is literally a symptom of being abused. Marginalized people are told that the discrimination they experience doesn’t actually stop them from succeeding, and they simply need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Victims turn this rhetoric inward and refuse themselves the opportunity to truly process their trauma. “It was all my fault, I could have stopped it, I was weak, I let it happen, I was asking for it.” Or —- “I could have saved myself from that crash, but I saved Cain instead. I let him hurt me.” By refusing to assign blame outwardly, Charles is able to convince himself that he’s still in control. He’s able to escape the pain of acknowledging that you are victimized and being victimized.

From “Self-Blame: The Ultimate Emotional Abuse” by counselor Michael J. Formica:

“One factor that significantly contributes to our system of self-blame is the failure to recognize our own humanity. We are, on the one hand, perfect beings. On the other hand, we are very much human beings—perfect in spirit, not so perfect in our humanness. Yet, rather than holding space or acknowledging this abiding double-edged aspect of the human condition, we often dwell in the illusion of our perfectionism or, at the very least, our need to be right.

When either we or the world we create around us does not meet this illusory ideal, we are often apt to take on fault and responsibility that is not ours to own. Our failure to recognize the balance of responsibility in any given situation leads us into the trap of misassigning that responsibility, which can quickly devolve into self-blame.”

This denialist line of thinking is also very common among marginalized individuals in general. Pretending oppression doesn’t exist, and fully buying into the bootstraps narrative is how some marginalized people choose to maintain their sanity. For some, to realize that there are factors beyond their control, particularly ones that are harming them, is to fall into despair. It is also much easier to adopt this line of thinking when you have privileges alongside your disprivileges like Charles does — money, whiteness, etcetera — that can make oppression seem far away.

Keep Your Head Up King Your X Is Falling

So —

Fall of X, the next phase of the Krakoan era, is on the horizon, and Charles seems to be at the center of it. The upcoming Immortal X-Men #14’s summary leaves no doubt about its focus on Charles’ Very Bad No Good mental state.

“TO ME, MY NO ONE. Xavier had a dream. Now he has nothing. This is the Fall of X. He fell. He fell furthest.”

Charles’ voice has markedly deteriorated from the kind of self-assured delusion showcased in Immortal X-Men #10. X-Men Red #12 treats us to a Charles messily grieving Erik and shouting at Ororo as if she is a child (and as if Charles is a child himself). After a firm rebuffing, he spills to Ororo about the fear he has been harboring since Erik’s death. He is once again the “desperately fearful” man Jean was surprised to see all those years ago.

X-Men: Red #12. Insane bereaved wife vibes.

I believe the underpainting of #10 is foreshadowing about what Charles’ fall (and Krakoa’s fall) will entail. X-Men Red #12 gives us a taste of the same allusions. He’s struggling with increasing fear of his powers and his capacity for harm. His need for control and dysfunctional self-concept is only exacerbating these fears. He acts irrationally and desperately — trying to forcibly take Ororo’s memories — in search of the comfort and connection he has never known outside of his rapidly crumbling role as a patriarch.

Immortal X-Men #14 is likely to be a more obvious showcase of the lifelong maladaptive behavior I discussed here, as well as the inherent moral catch-22 of telepathy. We’re still learning the details about the Fall of X (recent previews show Orchis and Mister Sinister having a grand old time crashing the Hellfire Gala), but it’s sure to be connected in some part to the slow-burning catastrophes that Beast and Colossus have been mired in for years now (and in terms of Beast, Charles’ negligence there will definitely be called into question). The Quiet Council will apparently be reduced to just Charles, during which he seems to be stuck on a wasteland Krakoa alone. And we all know how well Charles deals with being alone! This does not bode well for Krakoa.

I’m eagerly awaiting Immortal X-Men #14 to see more of Charles’ interiority explored (and I will probably write about that too — hopefully in a less long-winded manner). It’s an interesting pattern that these Charles-focused character studies highlighted the beginning and end of Sins of Sinister, and will highlight the beginning of FoX.

In my opinion, this deconstruction of Charles’ character with a markedly un-Deadly Genesis “burning the facade down” approach bodes well for his future in X-Men comics. As I’ve noted earlier, I’m reminded of his post-resurrection/Fantomex body-grab narrative from Astonishing X-Men. A less homely, more clearly “Oh You’re Kind of Insane Actually” Charles I would liken to X-Men: First Class (2011)’s Charles Xavier.

(I’m ultimately glad the approach was sidelined though, as X-comics were….not consistently good then. The range needed to handle such a character evolution was not present across the board. And of course, I’m glad the blonde buzzcut design was scrapped. Ugh. I don’t care how many bright yellow-haired Charles images I shared in this, I will never accept blonde Charles as canon!)

But the general idea is good: a fresh perspective on life. No longer a Professor, no longer a Council member, no longer a leader — no longer mired in responsibility. Who could Charles be if he truly changed? Who could Charles be if he didn’t keep returning to the familiar roles that he hid within to protect himself? What parts of himself could he discover, or rediscover?

I could say more but….well. I should save for that a pitch document, shouldn’t I?